the worst time i ever hit myself in the balls was during a lacrosse game.

i went to flip it around to the guy behind me

and i zimped it

flipperdip

right in the balls.

owwie.



p.s.
i wrote a bunch of new songs.
come listen to them.

i think everything is gonna be alright.
i'm enjoying making new friendships stronger.
i have some old feelings brewing up about some people,
but i'm trying my best to look the other way.
i have my permit now.
christmas is coming up.
my dad's coming in.
i just feel really relaxed.
easy come easy go.
"no one's ever seen a dead donkey"

i'm just eager to be uncaring again.
i don't even mind that her and i aren't/are close.

i needed this.

so i've been getting a lot of shit about my love life lately.
and i've come to a few conclusions.
i do everything on purpose.
and i never have any regrets.
i develop my opinion of people through the way they act towards me and others i care for.
i just wish people would get off my case.
nothing will really matter once i'm out of highschool.
so i'd like to explore the people i see everyday.
i find it therapuetic.
i'm not going to regret what i'm about to do.

i hope everyone can learn to accpet that.

end.

i've been thinking about the changes in my life so far.
and to tell you the truth, i'm quite pleased.
through all of the phases,
i'll learned a lot of things.
became wiser now then i would have otherwise.
but lately,
i've been thinking about aging.
and even though i'm only 16.
i feel that i really don't want to age anymore.
it looks like every year.
my beard gets longer.
and my jeans get tighter.
that's about it.
i just want something new.
i can't even legally drive on my own in america.
but if i were amish, i'd be married.
if i german, i could drink.
and if i were hebrew, i'd have the respect of a man.
i just feel like it's all pointless.
i hope something changes.

p.s. i cleaned the cat shit off of my keyboard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

disarrayed thoughts, tetris, american dream, marijuana, christmas shopping, black baby dolls, old women mean muggin',  pokemon red version, new camera, whores, gettin' my dick wet, "fear and loathing in las vegas" the movie, chelsea, techno music, bob marley, daft punk, silversun pickups, shopping, shopping, shopping, the devil, julie, work, goodwill, passionless love, christ, drums, ever persistent drums!, cigars, cell phone, dancing, hate, kanye west, rogue wave, bass, mum, dallatore, hookah, death, addictions, pain killers, hook ups, acid trips, lust, peace, tranquility, turmoil, "fuck you ya old lady nignag", ashleigh, lost, lost...

things are easy
like you,
i like it this way.

i have no idea what's going on.

i miss everyone.

i miss everything.

i just want to wake up again.